Are you an April fool?
10 Questions and thoughts to ponder...
- Have you ever noticed that one armpit tends to smell different/worse than the other one? For instance – my left armpit sometimes smells like pizza when I’m sweaty. Weird, but true. Why is this? Does anyone know?
- It may have started with a wink, but more often than not, should’ve ended with a poke to the eye with a sharp stick. Speaking of eye; I got a gnat in my eye this evening while I was riding my bike. I hate it when that happens...
- I like to dance with reckless abandon and sing loudly in my car.
- I have come to the conclusion that online “relationships” are very similar to small businesses – more often than not they fail miserably. However, I’m somewhat doomed because I’m an idealist at my core and have owned my business for 6 years now.
- I saw a creepy guy at the coffee shop today who had a grown out bowl cut with a red comb stuck in his hair. If you are this man, you read this and then proceed to wink at me – know that I will instantly projectile vomit. You’ve been warned weirdo!
- If one more overweight woman makes a snide or rude comment about me being skinny, I’m going to tell her to shut her big pie hole and do some squats.
- Do you name your private parts? If you do, I think you’re oogie. If it’s really funny though, I want you to share it with me. The name – not the actual “thing.”
- If you are reading numerous self-help books, belong to a supportive tantric men’s group, or are about to embark on a soul-searching journey in the near future – steer clear – I don’t like you already.
- Is this thing on?
- I would like to see the word “dink” make a come-back. I also like to wear a silly cape on occasion. These two things have nothing in common in case you didn’t notice.
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